• John McTaint believes we should ban and erase Roe v. Wade from history books.

• John McTaint says we need to protect the institute of marriage, fought for in the civil War that saved the Union of a man and woman.

• John McTaint promises free bottles of Ambien for all legal, God-fearing American citizens.

Ban and outlaw Roe v. Wade. John McTaint believes Roe v. Wade is a flawed decision that must be overturned and completely outlawed in all cases, 100%, and as president he will nominate judges who understand that the Republican party no longer recognizes the legality of this genocidial ruling. No longer will activist judges be in the business of legislating from the bench. This is much different than legislating from the bench because this is what we believe and we as legal Republican Americans know what's right for America.

In fact, John McTaint feels so strongly about human dignity of legal American Republican citizens, he commits to locking the doors of each and every filth-ridden godforsaken Planned Parenthood location within 24 hours of being elected into office. The day John McTaint takes office is the day Roe v. Wade is stricken from historical records. Women do not have a choice when it comes to their bodies. That's a decision left up to God, God's sons, and his chosen prophets here on earth (prophets TBD).

Protecting the institute of marriage in the civil war that saved the union of a man and woman.Though essentially an outmoded form of traditional life, the family, in some circles, represents a sliver of the foundation of Western Civilization and civil wars (which saved the civil union) of society. John McTaint believes the institute of marriage is a great example of how Republicans saved the union between one man and one woman. It is only this definition that sufficiently recognizes the vital and unique role the mothers and fathers in the raising of children that go on to become war heroes in the great civil war that saved the civil union. The role of the family in shaping, stabilizing, and strengthening communities and our nation also weighed heavy on the minds of the brave civil soldiers during the great war that saved the union. Legal American men and women are eternally grateful to the heroes that went before us.

Free bottles of (the generic equivalent of) Ambien for all legal, God-fearing American citizens. During more than five years as a prisoner in Albania, John McTaint experienced some really gnarly assaults on his human dignity. Yet each day he also sensed in his own mind that his fellow prisoners ignored the power of human compassion and the will to prevail against unimaginable evil. They died because they couldn't hack it. But not John McTaint.

John McTaint did not think that way and he managed to live via some clever sleight-of-hand trickery and a slew of subtle racial slurs hurled at his undisclosed captors. It is this experience, and a life dedicated to sporadically thinking about public services, that has imbued in John McTaint a fundamental commitment to the protection of human dignity that will shape his presidency. This is why McTaint firmly believes that all Americans should receive free bottles of (the generic equivalent of) Ambien, so legal Americans can sleep soundly without having to get too bummed out or stressed about the tragic reality of their everyday lives. Thanks to a joint venture between the McTaint campaign and makers of (the generic equivalent of) Ambien to ensure every legal American citizen can sleep as much as possible and let their tough and mindful president take the helm and maintain control.